Am I A Murderer?

Arise!! Everyone stood up as the court Ordered on the arrival of the judge. My case was presented to the judge, and the defense counsel proposed his proof.

My name is Biola Budmus; I became an orphan when I was ten. Ten! Yes, at a very tender age like that. I lost my parents and my only brother to a fatal accident. After the death of my parents, I was adopted by my uncle, and he was placed in charge of my parent's property for proper monitoring until I clock twenty-five, as stated in my father's Will. My adoption story was a sweet one from the beginning. If I must confess, my uncle loved me like my real father, he showed me love like the late Badmus, and that never left me lonely; at times, his wife would be jealous of me because he never showed them the kind of love he showed me. I believe I have seen another father who would do anything for me just for me not to feel my parents absent.

The story changes the day I clocked twelve; I could remember on my birthday, he came to my room to give me the teddy bear he had bought for me; I was so happy. "Thank you, daddy," I said, hugging him so tight; I could feel that he never wanted to release me when I hugged him, but I freed myself and thanked him for the gift. When it was time for him to go, he didn't leave my room; I told him I wanted to catch some sleep, then he started telling me things I could not comprehend; I don't understand any of his words as I am just a naive twelve years old girl, nothing sounds meaningful to me until I realized he wanted to defile me, I tried to stop him with my little feminine power but I couldn't, he raped me that day.

I became his sex tool; he would force himself on me every single night and threaten to kill me if I ever mentioned it to anyone. This continues for several years. For numerous years I was molested, I couldn't speak up to anyone because I was afraid of death, I had no confidence I could tell my pain, I had to suffer in silence, pretending that everything was fine when I knew I was dying inside of me. After my twentieth birthday, I decided to confide in one of my aunty, who I thought would help me, but it didn't go down well with us; she claimed I wanted to ruin the family name, and I was asked to shut up for life. Oftentimes I would run away from the house just to have my peace, but my uncle would find and punish me for being a disobedient child; he would punish me for days and make me look bad in front of the whole family.

These continued until the day I decided to face him and fight for myself. That fateful day, he came to me as usual around 2:00 am when everyone was fast asleep, I refused him as usual, but this time I was more ready for him, when he tried to force himself on me I brought out the knife I have kept for him. However, to my surprise, it didn't scare him; he still wanted to find his way, I tried stopping him, scaring him with the knife, but he didn't take it seriously, I'm the weaker gender here, and my warnings are not always taken seriously, he tried to use his masculine gender on me. Still, I outsmarted him, trying to defend myself, and I ended up stabbing him. Yes! I stabbed him. I watched him as he gaps for breath; I couldn't save him or rewind my action. I wished it never happened.

Everyone kept blaming me for his death. I was given the title "A MURDERER" no one heard me when I wanted to speak up; they never knew he was a pedophile, no one asked the reasons have been running out of my father's house, they knew I wasn't like that before, but they are less concerned about an orphan like me. I understand I was not meant to kill; I didn't plan it either, I only wanted to scare him off me, but it turned out the other way round. Here I am, waiting for what will befall me; whatever it is, I am ready for it. What a life!

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