Beatrice Fredrick 1 year ago
@Bea_Trice Fred 9 min read Write a comment #short-stories

Choose Me

A girl who puts a little too much value on the opinions of her lover...I hate this feeling. This feeling of helplessness, not knowing what my next step is. I'm sitting in the sitting room alone in the house, thinking hard for a way out of the situation I have found myself in. Do I stay or leave? Do I go for me and risk losing him? Am I even sure that is what I want?

I applied for scholarships to schools abroad, not really expecting positive results; my roommate Allie persuaded me to just give it a try. Two out of ten came out positive; when I got the congratulatory email, I was ecstatic, astounded, but still ecstatic. I was accepted for nursing at Newcastle University in England and microbiology at Lancaster University in Ghana. Allie was so elated, smiling from ear to ear, that you would think she was the one that got accepted and not me. I called my boyfriend Liam, we had been together for two years, and I couldn't think of anyone else I'd rather be with. I cheerfully phoned him, wanting him to be part of the good news, but it went to voicemail, "I'd go see him; that'll even make the news even more special," I thought. Allie encouraged me to accept one, whichever I felt more passion for; I was grateful for her support because, honestly, I needed it.

That evening I set out to go see Liam; I had a skip in my step that even the lady I regularly got food ingredients from stopped me to ask what had me so bright and happy. I got to Liam's place and knocked on the door. He opened up and accepted me as usual, a kiss on my forehead and the words 'hello pretty.

I immediately settled and dropped the news; I just couldn't wait! But all he said was, "Wow, congratulations," with a tight smile. I immediately deflated; anyone would think he would be as elated as I was and see it as a cause for celebration. Why wasn't he happy for me? "What's wrong? Aren't you happy for me," I asked? He responded, "I am proud of you; you landed two scholarships to prestigious universities; only a smart girl like you could achieve that. But you remember I told you one time that I can't do distance relationships. You'd see a white guy, be enticed by his white boy charm, and forget me, who would be waiting for you here for the 4 or 5 years you'd spend there. I can't do that, I'll be wasting my time waiting, and you know that". I frowned, not understanding why he would say such things. "Liam, you know I would never leave you; I see my whole life with you and no one else. I can't even contain the thought of being with someone else, and you know that. I'm going there to school, not following boys.

Baby, I need your support in this; please understand that I this and be happy for me.". Suddenly, like a naked wire on water, he sparked. His face went hard. "You don't need my support; you look like you have already decided. Well, I have said my own; it's left to you; the ball is in your court either go to the school or stay here with me." I felt heartbroken, and I broke into tears. His eyes softened immediately as he didn't like to see me cry. "Baby, Bernice, you know I really love you, and I don't want to lose you. I only want what's best for both of us, and you going there would just end us, and you know. Please stay with me." I felt a wash of guilt come over me hearing him say that; I didn't think of how he would feel about me moving. I didn't stay over at his; I went back home that evening and relayed what happened to Allie. She was enraged, angry at Laim for putting me in that kind of position, at least that's what she said. But I didn't understand where the anger was coming from. "He, out of everyone, should be the one most jubilant for you. How could he tell you such words knowing full well you would want his support? See Bernice, any guy that is happy or rooting for your moving forward, discard him. He's just trying to weigh you down.

Since he wants you to choose, choose you. Because nobody looks out for you better than you do, you hear nobody." Her words were starting to make sense as they sank in more. I called my mom the next day and relayed the good news to her as expected; mommy was over the moon. Her ada has made her proud once again; she immediately went to work, researching and putting important phone calls in. I told her I wasn't sure which one I wanted yet and that I'd get back to her when I decided.

Everyone was happy and supportive, but the one person whose approval and support I valued the most was not here. That brings me to where I am now, in tears and thinking on my sitting room couch, as I have repeatedly been doing for the past two days. 'The deadline for my response to the universities is in five days' time; I'm beginning to doubt if I want those scholarships; I can't bare losing Liam. But if I let this go, I may never see the opportunity again, mom would be disappointed, and Allie would most definitely not forgive me. But....but...I don't even know anymore; I thought as I broke into another flood of tears.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I'm in my room getting ready to meet up with Liam for the date he had planned for us; he said he had big news to share. It's been two months since the whole scholarship situation, and I decided to choose him; even though it caused a rift between Allie and me and left my mom disappointed in me, it was worth it. Liam and I were happy and approaching our third anniversary; I wouldn't have it any other way. I met him at the restaurant; it's where we had our first date. The fact that he chose here is tugging at my heartstrings and had me feeling like a schoolgirl again. We had just finished our meals when he cleared his throat to grab my attention. "I told you I had big news to share. I got a job offer as a software developer at a tech company in Ghana, and I have accepted it. I'm resuming in a month's time".

Dumbstruck, that's what I was. Is this playing a joke? He not only got a job in the same country I rejected for him without informing me earlier, but he accepted and is obviously ready to move. "Sorry, what? You're leaving in a month's time for the same place I rejected for you. Reject the job, Liam." With a passive face, he said, "I can't do that just because you don't want me to." "What do you mean by that, huh? I am your girlfriend, and I say reject it. What happened to 'I can't handle distance relationship'? Hmmm? I, too, can't bare distance and reject it. You're very capable of landing a job as good as that here in Nigeria with your qualifications". I wasn't having this, not in a thousand years. Liam's next words destroyed me, "You can't tell me to do that, Bernice. Since we both can't bare distance, I think it's best we part ways. Goodbye, it's been a nice time with you". I couldn't move, I couldn't talk, hell, I couldn't even think. The one person I strongly depend on, that I trust, the last one I thought would ever leave me, just did exactly that. My only regret was rejecting those scholarships just because of how badly I depended on his approval.

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