Deja (chapter 1)

The lost cause...I woke up with the feeling of staying home again, it's been happening for the past one week and it was atypical of me.

"Wake up, Deja," it was my mum; she never fails in her daily routine of checking on us every morning. "It's 7 am, and your work time is 7:30; what kind of a human being are you?" She said in a harder tone. I wondered why she always saw only the bad things I did, like, I have always been an early bird and literary did everything in-house. She left the room, I knew she was angry, but I was already running late.

As the first child of a family of seven siblings and my mum, I had a lot of responsibility on my head; my mum was a single parent, and my dad died nine years ago after the birth of my last sibling. My mother is a civil servant and managed to send me to school and expects me to do the same for my other siblings. I dropped off from medical school because of my poor results in law school for the same reason. After four years of being a loser, I got admitted to study education in one of the cheapest universities, my mum invested her money in two of my younger siblings, and one of them will be called to the bar next month.

To my mum, I was a terrible loser, and I lived with the guilt of my loserdom. She reminded me always of how I was without a visionary scheme, and sending me to study education was the last thing she would ever do. She reminded me always that I wasn't supposed to be her first daughter. She was right; my elder sister died when I was just three years of age. My mother made me feel so much pain, and it was not her fault. No! It was all my fault.

How did I lose my vision? I was always around my dad when he was alive, partly because I was very hard-working, loyal, and smart. My dad was a Naval officer, and I so much admired him, he made me like the job, and I wanted to be one. Mum complained about how I am supposed to help out in the kitchen, but my dad would wave her off with, "call the boys; they should cook too; I'll teach Deja myself." And he really did teach me in his free time. My mum was so jealous that I began to feel she hated me. When I turned fifteen, my dreams took a new turn because I loved the whole idea of flying; I resorted to earnestly researching about being part of the airforce. That year my dad was diagnosed with lung cancer, and my life changed, I was always at his bedside at the hospital, and I was the only one there when he died after eleven months of battling. 5th October, my life changed totally.

"Wake up; we are at the bus stop already" I felt a tap; it was the conductor. I wasn't sleeping; I was just lost in thoughts. I gently alighted from the bus as the morning sun shined down on me, I was late for work, but I didn't care at that moment; I needed to buy flowers because I would be returning late for work, flowers for tomorrow, October the 5th!

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