Deja- Chapter 2

My alarm woke me up this Saturday morning with 5th October written boldly on it.

The incident of my father's death began to come back to me as I stared at his picture on the wall. That day, I was sitting right beside him, holding up a magazine. His eyes were open, and staring into space, I felt he was okay. "Deja," he paused. "Where is your mum?" he started again. I was engrossed in my magazine, and it took me some seconds to reply, "I don't know." "Deja," he continued again; his voice sounded energetic this time. "Make your mum proud." I nodded gently, and he closed his eyes; I felt he was sleeping again, and I continued with my magazine. I could hear the life support machine whining, but I didn't know what it was; I felt disturbed, but I was assured by the peace on his face.

Thirty minutes later, the nurse came in to check on him and confirmed he was dead. I couldn't believe it as I stared at the nurse in confusion; the doctor came in shortly and also confirmed the same. I woke up on the hospital bed; it turned out I had fainted. The prior events started coming back to me, and I felt dead inside; I looked around and saw my siblings all quietly sobbing. I couldn't find mum. I jumped off the hospital bed, shouting her name. We didn't find her until the next day, in a place we least expected and in a place we all dreaded. I heard a shout from outside; it was Kamsi, my favorite brother and last sibling. "It's my bowl, not yours" they were dragging a bowl of beans; I called the two and settled the matter. It was just me, mum, Kamsi, Jude, and Brown at home; two of the others were in school, and another two were apprentices in another town.

Loud music and chatterings from the three boys, I doubt they remember what day it is. Since dad died, it seemed I was the only one who remembered this day. "Sis, Mum, said you should help her with cooking today," said Jude. "And what would the three of you be doing? " I asked. "Cleaning up the farm," Kamsi replied and stood up to turn on the television. I turned to go but stopped and asked, "where did mum go?" There was no answer, and I felt it was because they were not listening, I turned off the music, and they focused on me. "She doesn't go to work on Saturday; where did she go?" My tone raised; I was infuriated. They stared at me, and it infuriated me the more, but I had to calm down."Now tell me, what did she say when she was leaving?" "We don't know; she just left this morning and told us that we should tell you to prepare food," Said Jude, the eldest amongst them.

I knew they were surprised by my reaction because they had no idea what was going on. They lived in boarding houses throughout their secondary school days and seldom had any idea of what happened every October 5th. Just like the day dad died, mum was always missing every October 5th, and we always found her in the same place but different spot. I didn't want to look for her this time; she was always a distraction for my dad's memorial. I quickly took a warm bath! Ate the remaining beans with pap and lit a candle in front of my dad's picture with flowers. Mum came back very late later that day, she was looking very tired, and I rushed to get her cleaned up. She refused and asked me to leave. I insisted and asked her where she went to, but she was not yielding. I got angry "you do this every year and expect us not to get worried; why are you like this, mum? You don't care about us or how we feel, what kind..." "Really?" She cut in, "I suffered to raise you and your brothers to this stage, and this is all you can say? What have you said about your wasted years in university and your inability to bring something good to the table?" She was shouting this time.

I felt finished but was foolish enough to reply again, "you forced me to take those courses; I always wanted to be in one of the armed forces" "You never see the wrong you do, Deja; your dad raised you like you were perfect, now see where it's landing you. Deja, I've tried for you, I never wanted you to embark on the dangerous journey of being in the force, but I think I was so wrong in protecting you" She paused, and I could hear the distant chatters of my brothers. "You have just 24 hours to leave this house; your dreams can always come through when you do it yourself." her mood changed, but she managed to continue. "I have to focus on your brothers now, Deja, and you have to leave and achieve your dreams" She stood up; I was standing there like a criminal set for execution, and I could feel everything in the room was staring and laughing at me. "Did you cook?"Ye-es," I answered with a faint voice. I slumped into one of the seats in full realization of how messed up my life was. I regretted ever confronting her; I said was has been on my mind, and I guess she did too.

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