First Date Turn Offs

Mistakes people make on the first date - Dating (sit-out) is very necessary, especially in the first phase of a relationship called "ACQUAINTANCE." Meeting your proposed partner for the first time comes with great feelings. However, this first date is better outside, out of the residence of both parties. Maybe in a restaurant or a garden. This is when both parties get to talk deeply about themselves and other aspects of their personal life.

It could be so disappointing; while you expect a positive response from the person thereafter, it turns the other way. The person stops chatting you up, stops giving attention, and places the communication gap in an isolated instance. This sporadic change may make you begin to wonder what must have gone wrong along the line. 

Below are a few factors responsible for the turn-offs

1. YOU OVERACTED:

Obviously, many people go the extra mile to impress their proposed partner on the first date. Some guys and ladies tend to borrow clothes from friends. Guys go as far as borrowing money just to foot the bills. During the meeting, they put up a strange attitude.

 A. Fakeness: it's very easy for a lady to catch a fake man. But once a lady fakes, it's hard for a man to detect. Stop boasting; stop promising her what you cannot afford. Ladies don't like a pretentious boastful man. If you are living in a single room, tell her just that. If you woo her with lies, you will need more lies to keep her. While still sitting with you, if she discovers it's a lie, you will never see her again.

In fact, a responsible lady needs a man she can grow with; a man with her input will make sense to her. So stop promising her heaven and earth and bragging about the things you have acquired. She came to be talked to, not to listen to your success story. If you do that, you will never see her green light again.

B. YOU FAKED YOUR SPEECH:

It's so annoying meeting someone for the first time, and he or she pretends to speak as Americans do. The question is, will you continue to speak this way? If the person quickly notices that you are faking it, he or she will flee. People need real people to be in love with, not fakers

2. UNNECESSARY ORDERS:

When a man gives you the opportunity to place an order of what you want to take, it's a test of how the lady can manage or waste his resources. When you request all the food on the menu, it's a serious RED-FLAG. A responsible man needs a manager, not a destroyer or a consumer.

My experience:

Years ago, I met a lady. We engaged in deep conversation such that I tended to like her, and she liked me too. I proposed date, and she gamed in. Meeting her for the first time was a great feeling—she was such a cute verbose young lady. We got talking, and I placed an order for soft drinks for her; I was surprised she placed an order for two bottles of beer. I already knew it wouldn't work, but I had to play along. I got Fayruz and started observing her.

That wasn't enough for her; she went inside and came out with several orders; I smiled. After we left, I ended it there. 

3. UNNECESSARY STANDARDS/COMPARISON:

Stop comparing your intended man or woman with your ex. It hurts people when being compared with others. 

Take a man the way he is or leave him alone; otherwise, he will feel insulted and humiliated and never return. 

A friend met a lady, and both agreed to go on a first date. It went well. They fell in love. But he got disappointed in the end. Why?

While they were set to go, it took a while before they could find a cab. Then they had to stroll down the main road. At a point, she exclaimed heavily, and he asked why? She said, "I've never dated a man that's not driving. I'm not used to trekking for a while... So I'll be trekking every time?" 

RED-FLAG 

4. LACK OF CONTENTMENT:

Be contented with whatever a man has to offer you. Understand with him while encouraging him to improve. This is why most men have to stretch beyond boundaries to meet your standard.

5. NO SOURCE OF INCOME:

It may interest you to hear her ask you, "what do you do for a living?" you may feel she is after the money, no! The first date is a period of questions you ask, and she asks. A lady wants to be identified with a productive man. Even if you earn 10k a month, she will be so happy with you. No lady wants a man that's not productive; no lady wants a lazy man. If you can't afford food for yourself, how then will you be able to assist her?. But if you have something to do, you will be surprised she adds income to enlarge your business, that's if she is capable. 

But if you tell her, "hmmmmm, it is well o, I'm managing with my brother for now,".. you are not yet ready to get a lady. Go and work. RED-FLAG 

5. NO SENSE OF HUMOUR:

No lady wants a boring man. You may be shy, but that's normal. Every man gets shy at a point when meeting a lady for the first time, but don't lose your sense of humor. In fact, a lady wants a man that can make her happy, smile, and get relieved. To shock you, a lady may miss you not for sex but just for your ability to put a smile on her face. If she meets you on a first date and you turn out to be too serious and boring, she writes you off immediately. She needs a man who will make the relationship a happy place. So you must give her comic relief, tease her, just make her happy, then watch her laugh out loud like a carcass of fallen wood. That's a great green light. Congrats 👍

6. UNNECESSARY DEMANDS:

Most girls are too demanding. They solely depend on a man for their upkeep. A man you just met, now you remember you are out of data, that your hair needs to be retouched, that you need to buy lecture notes, and other unhealthy demands. He won't flare up, but that's a RED-FLAG. He will feel you don't need a relationship but for financial assistance; that's why most men tend to use and trash girls on the run because you needed money more than you needed love. It's obvious most ladies need financial pillars, not relationships. 

7. WRONG MOVES:

Everyone has feelings, but your ability to subject your emotion under control gains you respect before a girl. You just met her, or probably she visited for the first time, and you are already erected, trying to kiss and take advantage of her. No matter how good your intention for her was, that was a great RED-FLAG.

She will pretend but will never return. In her mind, you needed a sex partner, not a wife or a lover.  

8. POOR DECORUM:

To be candid, from the first day you sit out with a lady or ask her out, she already has an answer for you, whether positive or negative. She may say, "please give me some time" or "let me think about it" several reasons could give birth to these responses. However, the way you play your game determines her final answer. 

Decorum has to do with social behaviors. Therefore, poor social behavior could make a lady never respond to you after the first date. 

A) On the first date, try to be nice to her; Ladies never turn away from where they are being treated like a queen. Speak well of her, tell her "thank you for accepting a date with me," appreciate her dresses, compliment her for the perf she wears or makeup. Ladies feel exceedingly great when being told they are beautiful. So it's a great feeling to receive such a compliment from the guy who intends to be in a relationship with her. 

B) Pamper her like a baby: for instance, if she staggers, quickly hold her while saying, "o, sorry baby, just be careful.. Of course, you know I can't let you fall, that's why I'm a man". One of the greatest reasons ladies enter into relationships is security and protection. She would be glad to see you can protect her and, as such, is confident that you won't let her fall. 

C) When you arrive at the eatery, open the door and let her enter first. Dust the seat and let her sit first. If you were driving, make sure you turn to her door and open it for her to enter or hop out. If she is coming to your house, open the door for her to enter and make sure you offer her a seat, remain standing till she is seated

D) While eating, if she eventually gets choked, please offer her water immediately, draw her close to yourself and, wipe her with your handkerchief, let her rest her beautiful head on your shoulder till she is fine. At this point, she has already considered you. A lady needs a man that will make her feel like a baby.

E) When it's time for departure, help her arrange her hair. Bend down and help her buckle her shoes. Yes, do it; let go of your pride. No lady wants a man with pride. While you bend to buckle her shoes, some girls will just begin to cry or try to stop you. Please don't stop. Just say deep words, "no, baby, I have to buckle your shoes. You are a queen, and I have to make you have a feel of the queen nature in you. This is my responsibility; I have to let go of my pride to be with you, OK. I love you".... She is already melted.

F) Don't talk much about love; real men don't talk much, but they act more. Only boys do love quotes. Play the game well with good actions. She will just cry.

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