Friendship Breakups Are Inevitable

This is a short article on the worst form of Breakup- a friendship breakup. We've all lost close friends and it hurt, but one thing I've learned, it's part of life.

Nobody tells you that adulthood comes with losing friends. I had to learn that the hard way. So, during storytime, I had this close male friend. It was such a beautiful friendship- completely platonic too.  After we both graduated, I thought it would still be the same- the way we were so close, but it was all in my head. I thought this was a friendship for life. Unfortunately, it felt like I was the only one holding on to the friendship. It turns out that I was. The minute I stopped reaching out, that was the last time I heard from him. I was upset about his behavior and bad communication skills, but there was a part of me who always wanted to try. I tried again and was humiliated. 

I vowed that I would never waste my time, energy, or precious data on someone who wasn't worth it. He wasn't the first friend to go, but it still hurt. The hard pill I had to swallow was that he wouldn't be the last to go. I thought about it," Would I lose my girls too?" That very thought scared me. Making friends is not hard for me. I've been told that I'm a "people's person," but to build a bond with someone new? It seems like a lot of work. As an adult, I'm completely busy trying to make it, or rather trying to figure it out. I love my friends, but I can't be there for them as much as before. Why? I have responsibilities. One of them is a job which I have to do. If not, Sapa ends me. 

It doesn't mean I don't try. One thing I have learned is that, sometimes, a person's time in life can come to an end. I thought about my estranged male friend and all the impact he made in my life- he was definitely there for me when I needed him. Just because we are not friends anymore doesn't mean I don't wish him well. Do I get sad over old memories and want to reach out again? Of course. But I remember that sometimes, it's just okay to let some people go.

No hard feelings. If you feel bad about losing a friend, if you can, reach out to them. Try to fix it. I do believe that communication can fix anything. Understand that times are not easy, especially in this country-Nigeria. Realize that your friend may be busy or going through some things. Choose to be there for them. If that doesn't work out, let them go. Cherish the time you have with the friends you have now. Even if things go south, you have your memories to live off. 

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