Lemuel Ned 1 year ago
@ineffablened 7 min read Write a comment #short-stories

Hot Day

Something beautiful on a hot day...Let's just say that I'm in a bad mood 'cause I don't like the word 'Angry' and no, I don't want to remember why, in fact, I refuse to remember. But I know it's getting worse with every stupid person I encounter.

So I took a walk to clear my head, but the hot 4 o'clock sun would've been another stupid person if he could hear me. Anywho, I call my buddy Ned to come help with the situation, and he says he'll meet me at our regular hangout, which is already around the way of my heat stroll as it is. Ned is my friend, a true friend in need; the only problem is he understands your needs better than you do most times, and we'll leave it at that for now. By the time I got there, my skin had moved from sweating to frying; I'm feeling worse than before and looking for the coolest place in the room or someone stupid to vent on (whichever one comes first) when someone called my name. I barely turn to see Ned raising his hand like a pupil seeking permission to use the restroom; embarrassment sits in my bad mood as I walk to join him, and he's got the most annoying smile he can offer.

" My kneega!" he says as we shake hands, to which I respond, " My fat cow!" as I manage a smile. Ned is actually on the slim side. We exchange a few more friendly insulting pleasantries as we sit down. And then he says, " Guy, calm down; even people that are blind and deaf know that you're angry." I make a mistake and ask, " How?" "There's no demon around you, not even one; they're all afraid of you!" he says, laughing. I call him the most vulgar name in my native tongue, which is a part of the female anatomy, which only makes it worse, and since I can't beat him...I join him in laughter. The waiter brought our orders (he'd already ordered for both of us), which were a bottle of beer for him and ice cream for me.

He's already smiling; my face is saying, "really... seriously?" but my mouth managed, "Why?" "Why not? It'll make me laugh and calm you down; two birds, one stone." He says, still smiling. I had to smile too, plus he made a very good point. I start to relax a bit, and he asks me the why, who, and how I got to be like this. I was just about to tell him when the waitress interrupted by slipping me a note, pointed, and disappeared. I look at my friend; he looks blank, well as blank as a mischievous smile can be. "I wish it was me," he says. The note reads, "GO AND SCREAM VULGAR IN YOUR TOILET" "What the f***!" was my reaction; Ned takes the note off me as I raise up, looking for the sender. She's equally fuming about two tables away, and I catch the words, "You're a fool for using such words in public!"

I had managed two quick steps before Ned caught me and half whispered, "Nope, this is not your style." I felt like someone had opened a window and cleared the fog out of my head. "You should go back to the toilet and write another note!" I managed a smile with that one, and I think I stuck out my tongue at her. It was childish, but I felt good. Her friends held her back as she threw more insults; I went back to my seat with Ned. "Guy, I'm proud of you," he said with a different but still stupid smile. "Imagine that," I said sarcastically. I think the flavor of the ice cream improved a bit; I guess happiness improves things, or was it sarcasm? After a while, he says, "Did you notice there were three of them?" "O boy, I think we were lucky there could've been trouble," I said thoughtfully.

"Wadda, you mean?" I noticed he was looking at them. "I mean, we just came out of an argument with three hot, sorry, I mean, angry women."  Crap! I recognize that smile on his face. "I thought you didn't notice, besides na only your girlfriend bin dey vex," he added a wink. "How is she, my girlfriend!?" I said in a whispered shout; this had the opposite effect on Ned as his smile broadened. "Carrot and stick, my boy" "But we've already started with a stick," I said. "Nope, You've got the stick; I've still got carrots." He said, implying plural. "And I thought you weren't interested?" He finished with another smile. "Ok, she's fine; you happy now?" I said, smiling, and he stood up, barely glanced at me, and said, "Those were the words I was waiting for." And walked to the girl's table. A second later, they were all smiling, chatting, laughing, and occasionally glancing in my direction. A moment later, he 'Signalled' me to come over. I walked over with my ice cream in front of me and the most innocent face an adult could manage and said "Hi" with the spoon in my mouth. Ned beamed. They smiled. "meet Augusta, Aisha, and your girlfriend, Julia." I got two giggled "Hi," and Ned got "what's your problem." I shook hands with them, leaving Julia for last, and pulled up a seat close to her. I apologize to them; well, to her, she reciprocates. And then I smile and say, "You must have also been having a bad day." "What makes you think it's over?" She says with a smile, the first of many I witnessed. I forgot about everything else, and our day began.

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