Ajibola Adewale Sikiru 1 year ago

@Ajibsen94 3 min read Write a comment #personal-development

In-love Experience Versus Real Love

IN-LOVE EXPERIENCE VERSUS REAL LOVE: What you need to know before rushing into marriage...

Did you know that every relationship experiences what we call the IN-LOVE STAGE/PERIOD? This stage is when lovers will be highly obsessed with each other, this is a period when both of them will go to sleep thinking of one another. And immediately they arise in the morning, the thought of spending the day together is always the first thought on their minds. It is a period when the guy with his sugar-coated mouth promises the girl heaven and earth, and the girl, In turn too, will keep on blushing and feel like someone that just won the lottery, they at this time feel like both of them are the only beings in the whole planet. During this period, we have the illusion that our beloved is perfect and what others think of him or her doesn't matter; everything else seems irrelevant. 

A psychologist, Dr. Tennov, after a long range of studies on the in-love stages, concluded that 'in-love, experience is fiction, not fact. She concluded that the average lifespan of romantic obsession is two years. After that, their eyes will be open and will be clear enough to see some of her annoying behavior patterns. Recognizing the in-love experience as being a temporary period of emotional high, that the in-love obsession won't last forever, and pursuing real love with our spouse is the right way to tackle living a miserable life with our spouse. This is because true love begins when the in-love experience has run its course. 

To avoid cursing marriage and that your partner you once cannot do without, to avoid blaming yourself for having two big eyes but cannot see the bad in your lover before marrying him/her, for having ears that refused to listen to others' advice about his/her irritating personality traits and their behavior patterns that are annoying as early as when you guys are in 'in-love' stage. This is because those overlooking traits might become huge mountains for you in the future. 

No one is perfect, but with love and understanding, it won't be hard to learn and understand the WANTS and HATES of our partner. There are ways we can correct our spouses without using nagging words or causing a commotion. The moment you learn to use verbal compliments for your favor and the well-being of your partner is when the emotional climate between you and your spouse will gradually and radically improve.