My Commercial Bus Ride Experience 🚌

A short story of the day I took a commercial bus and the drama that occurred.

Ngwa Road! Ngwa Road! Screamed the bus conductor repeatedly. "Nwa teacher, you wan enter? Na one chance remain o" He acknowledged me in their usual classless manner. I was pissed off. First and foremost, I was late to work, and secondly, it felt like all the Keke's (tricycle) I normally take had a meeting to frustrate my humble self because, where the hell were they?! And thirdly, how dare this conductor to call me an Nwa teacher? I looked down at my white satin long-sleeved shirt, my black pencil skirt, my flat black shoes, my handbag, and my fancy lunch bag and grudgingly decided to let that one slide... I did look like a teacher, after all! And since our dearly beloved time waits for no one, I quickly hopped into the bus before someone else would overtake me.

Immediately after I sat down, I began questioning my choice because the conductor decided to sit beside me. Mere words cannot explain the kind of unpleasant odor he was emitting. It felt like this man hadn't come across the concept of bathing!!! In order to save my very young life, I tried my best to wiggle in that tight space so I would face my left-hand side to receive fresh air, but alas! The next thing I heard was the troublesome-looking woman directly behind me giving her calm-looking husband, who was sitting beside me, verbal lashings. It started with a question. 'Did he bring his nose mask?' to which he sheepishly replied that he forgot; she finished him!

She then asked him if he was still going to that place, but the man remained mute, to which she finished him again! Me sef come dey pity the man. Then the man did the weirdest thing ever, he peered down at his 9yr old son he was carrying and asked him if he brushed his hair, but the boy remained mute; this repeated two more times, and then the so-called calm man unleashed his wrath on his son(a k.a transferred aggression). My mouth was open as I entered another level of shock! But God saved me from them because they alighted at the next junction. I thought that was the end. I thought wrong.

The bus conductor decided to collect his money as the bus started moving again. He collected the first, second, and third rows in peace until we got to the fourth row. An old lady definitely was in the mood to play smart because only God knows how she sneaked into the bus without saying her location. The conductor asked for 100naira, which was the normal price for that distance, but she insisted that it was 50naira she had and blamed the conductor for not telling her the price on time. The conductor was spitting fire and brimstone close to me, and since he couldn't lay hands on the old lady, He settled for murmuring curses here and there while gesticulating wildly with his hands...I kept on praying to reach my location in one piece.

He stretched his hand to the next passenger, who dropped 100naira into his hand instead of the normal 150naira; the conductor calmly asked him, 'Wetin be this?' To which the man boldly responded, 'No, be your money? No, come make noise with me o, because me I no be this old woman, na 100naira I go give you're Ladies and Gentlemen... All hell broke loose; the conductor dived the guy and gave him a blow (I dodged the blow just in time to the glory of God), to which the passenger returned, fire for fire... blow for low...shocking insult for shocking insult...

Everyone on the bus began talking at once! The noise, the heat, the odor... As I looked out of the window, I saw my junction, and with a hoarse voice, I shouted above the noise while hitting the roof of the bus driver, o ga Apu! Driver, I want to come down abeg!!!!' The driver parked, and I flew down and fled to my office...



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