Damian King 2 years ago

My Vigirnity

The first guy that held my hand told me boys don’t like virgins. I asked him, “is anything wrong with being a virgin?” and his reply was, “we just don’t like them, and no guy ever dreams of marrying a virgin.”

Younger me could smell Lies and deceptions. I knew where he was driving to, but I told him, “if you don’t like virgins, stay away from me.”

I was the third child of my parents and the only daughter. 

My mum has always taught me to be pure and keep my pride till I’m a wife. She told me my virginity was supposed to be a gift to my husband and not a birthday gift or valentine's gift to any guy who claims to be my boyfriend.

I have never stopped listening to all she has been saying. Not until I turned 16. I was the smartest in my class, and every guy in my class won’t stop asking me out. But they all kept wanting the same thing.

The first guy I gave the chance to be my boyfriend claimed he loved me and was ready to do anything for me. 

I was 16, and he was just 17. What do kids like us know about “Love” and “doing anything”? He was cute and charming, so I told him I loved him too. This became the beginning of my keeping secret from my parents.

I never told them I’d started having a boyfriend. Of course, Mum was going to freak out, and Dad won’t hesitate to bounce on me.

I just didn’t want to be the odd girl, the dummy, the ape change girl, the girl with Stone Age mentality.

During the break, my girlfriends do go to the back of the school with their boyfriends to kiss, and some wouldn’t mind having sex in the bush or empty classroom.

And there I was, moping at the unbelievable actions of my friends. 

My so-called boyfriend won’t stop disturbing me…. he would say, “Favour, do you really love me?” Each time he asks me that question, I just do not know what to say to him. “Peter, you know I love you, but I just can’t do what you are asking me to do.” 

This continued till my final class when I was 18. All my girlfriends never stopped mocking me and calling me names for still keeping my virginity.

Titi will say, “what good will this your virginity do you?”

“Does it make you better than us?”

“Does it guarantee you a better husband?”

And Sharon will say, “stay there and be deceiving yourself.”

“Don’t you see guys love us more than you?”

“Even the so-called husband you are keeping it for will not be a virgin.”

“You are missing out on life enjoyment.”

Every night, their words kept sounding in my head over and over. I wanted to talk to mum about it, but I didn’t want to look like a baby, like I couldn’t handle things by myself.

The pressures became so much and unbearable. Sometimes, they won’t allow me to attend their parties …. They will put on a caption, “NO VIRGIN IS ALLOWED.”

So I decided to give me. So stupid of me.

The same Peter who claimed to love me had slept with other girls. One day, I went to his house to pay him a visit…. Luckily, he was home alone. I made him promise me he would love me till the end. Foolish, I fell for all his empty promises.

He took me to his bedroom and helped me undress.

We did it. It hurts, but I did anyway. I wasn’t proud of my actions. I disappointed my parents, and I hated myself for it.

I called my friends to inform them I was no longer the dummy girl.

After the whole thing, I watched as Peter went to the bathroom to clean himself and dressed up. He never bothered me; I was expecting him to maybe take me to the bathroom and help me clean up and dress up just like he did to undress me…. But he didn’t!

I screwed up. It doesn’t worth it. It doesn’t make me better or smarter than before. Instead, it made me lesser than I was. I was no longer pure as I was. I was not the same girl mum was proud of.

Time went by, and peter’s attitude towards me wasn’t like before. He barely calls or texts. He doesn’t care about me anymore. I guess I lost that self-respect I once had. I lost it all.


Anyone who loves you should respect you. He shouldn’t let you do things that are not good. He shouldn’t lie to take things from you.


It just doesn’t worth it.

To all the girls out there, don’t fall victim to these lies. Don’t allow your friends to control you….. They are only jealous of you. They wished to have that which you protect dearly.

No guy will ask for your virginity as a symbol of true love.


Don’t be afraid to talk to someone RELIABLE; your parents, guardians, pastors, teachers. THERE IS SOMEONE OUT THERE WHO WANTS TO HEAR YOU!

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