Should I Get Married? The Wedding Bells Are Ringing

Nya may have gamophobia but only towards marriage. This is the first episode in a fictional series that portrays the events in marriages that force single ladies into a dilemma to choose between saying yes to forever or becoming serial daters.

So the boo proposed last week. Thankfully, he is not the ostentatious type, so there were no trumpets. He asked me quietly, kneeling on the Morrocan willow rug that I nicknamed Snuggle on the first day he invited me over.

Although his style of asking was not what I would have liked if I had been interested in being proposed to, I was grateful at the moment because it made it easy not to say yes. I didn't say no either, don't misunderstand me; I just told him I needed some time. What answers I want to get from the supposed time? I can not tell yet. Is it the assurance that our union will be different from that of Fumibi, my fab cousin now a shadow of herself due to the life sentence of emotional abuse she calls marriage?

Or is it the conviction that we will never fall out of love once we start cohabiting as a couple like Toyin, my recently divorced friend, because you see, I love Micah, but like my darling sister-in-the-lord Enuma will say, love is not enough, and she would know, she and her husband love themselves to the moon and back, high-school sweethearts but they were unable to work through their bad habits in all those years of loving. His smoking and her frivolous spending, habits they disliked in each other, now turned into hate.

I know you are wondering why I am surrounded by drama; let me tell you that there are more of them, and they are the reasons why I have not said yes to Micah because I am unsure about giving up my awesome life in exchange for a ring. Co-workers and friends who have met him think he is the coolest guy since James Bond, and he can be sweet sometimes, but he also has his shortcomings. For instance, he never takes his time to curate presents he gives me on occasions like valentines Day or my birthday. It means a lot to me when someone painstakingly hand-selects my gifts, and trust me, you can tell. Micah does not break a sweat, I can assure you, but I deviate.

Besides his weaknesses, what if there are traits he hides, I shudder to think how terrible it is for him to keep it away from me because I am literally the most open-minded person you will ever come across.

What if he becomes controlling like Okey, Mena's husband, who made Mena cut off her male friends and even resign from her marketing job in a bank to start a business because he sulked and nagged about how much she interacted with men in her work life? And I know Mena wasn't pleased to do all that, especially when she distanced herself from Tekena and John, the only males in our clique from secondary school days. It must have hurt. These guys were our day ones. So imagine my bafflement when Okey started to give us a gist, on the evening Mena invited my elder brother and me to join them for their third-anniversary dinner, of how his female friend from the university came to town on a business trip from Lagos and offered to host him in her hotel and then she annoyed him by leaving him behind in her room and rushing off to see other friends who just arrived. I was even more surprised to learn from Mena while we gathered the dishes that, although she was hearing this particular tale for the first time, Okey was fond of meeting up with his female friends, clubbing or partying with them, picking up and dropping them off at will.

What sort of double standards do men project? Why is it okay for Mr. Okey to keep up with friends of the opposite gender and not his wife? I can not stand this patriarchal hypocrisy. So you must understand my fears; I want to say yes to the ring, but... And you may be thinking, "Mena's husband is just one man in the vast pool of eligible males that grace this universe, so he cannot be the benchmark," but if you sit tight on this ride, I will let you explore the world of my other friends and their stories since the day they said I do.

My name is Nya, and I am afraid of becoming a Mrs.

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