Stephen Onovai 11 months ago

@iamEmmanuel 6 min read Write a comment #creative-writing

Take A Look At My Love Window...

It was late on Friday night. My hand was very much awake, caressing its way around my itel A16 plus, when I heard a knock on the door. It wasn't strange to hear someone knocking by that time; either someone was coming to collect a bedsheet…or probably something else from the laundry room.

Following the knock was a euphonious voice. It was like the drop of cold water on the tongue after a sunny day. My mind had registered that voice, the knock, and the timing—till I started waiting every day for it—or every two-two days when she was on duty. As I expected, it was her. "Good evening," She said. I answered…while still maintaining eye contact with my phone. The exchange of pleasantries came as a shock to me. We were not enemies, but not in talking terms as well. Let's say I wanted her to walk up to me to find out why I was avoiding her.

Earlier on, we were good. The story started when I was carrying out my job description in one of the public toilets. She wanted to throw the water she used to mob the bar away and possibly rinse the mop stick in the process. I shifted a little for her to do so, and in the process, I started a conversation: "Have you done this kind of job before?"

She was new, so the best I could come up with was that question. I started going around her after on, sometimes in the morning hours after the usual morning devotion for workers. Dishing her a dose of "Dooh!" "Hope you're not stressed." Other times, it was just me screaming her name from a distance and throwing some compliments at her. That wasn't peculiar to her alone, but generally to every of the staff, I find interesting.

If I didn't say her hair was nice, then I would say her dress was beautiful. She replied to most of the compliments with a "Thank you." The idea was to make her see me as interested. I struggled to be around her at times… especially sitting close to her every now and then. Not that I was shy, but a little space would be needed to add value to whatever I wanted to start. First, I struggled with the feelings because…for God's sake, we were colleagues. How does it sound to hear that two coworkers are dating?

Starting a friendship was always stressful for me in the past; I didn't like the beginning part of any of it. The patient, the commitment, and all of the forefront one had to prepare for. I wanted to go to her and watch the conversation happen, like two lovers in a movie. The opposite was always my case. She was reserved and cold. Maybe it was just me. She was cold too. I asked her one day if there was something bothering her. I remember she gave me that, "Can you solve it if I tell you," look. Maybe I couldn't. But at least we can go with the saying that a problem shared is half solved.

I sent her an SMS on some days, playing around with my phone keyboard, and allowing my finger to work the magic. I had broken the ice on one of my texts, stating that "I like her." All of that became unimportant when she said she didn't see my text. Will you believe that? I dialed her number right at that spot—making sure it was the correct number I had all this while. Her phone screamed next, confirming that it was her number. Maybe it was network. I still have my doubts about that.

Standing there face to face with her became another chance to spill the milk. "What I texted you was that..." I let it back when she gave me that "I'm listening" look when her face was facing elsewhere. "Talk na." She said, but like that part of scripture that says this person worship me with their lip, but their heart is far. Her lip was saying talk, but the signal her body language sent was as one saying, "I don't care."

I walked away—maybe expecting her to ask me to come back. She sometimes did, but not this time. When I saw that she was quiet to me most of the time, I read, meaning that she didn't like me or she was possibly tired of seeing me around. That was when I sent another message. I don't want it to seem like I was keeping malice when I don't respond anytime she says something. This is what I texted her: "If you're angry that I deaf you some days back, then you should know that that's how you always ignore me. Like I'm nobody. Maybe because I'm trying to play around with you, I just wanted to be a friend. But now I get it. I'm sorry if I have offended you in any way. I won't disturb you again. I would learn to mind my business..."

This was me saying goodbye to her. It was cool for me some days—especially getting busy with writing. On other days, I feel like my crush is walking passed without me doing anything about it. Did I give up? I want someone that wants me. Maybe she liked me. Maybe she was just testing me. Just maybe. I always feel like she wants to tell me something…but she seem scared or too proud to do so. Same as that Friday night when she knocked on the door—calling out my name.