The Aftermath Of Childhood Abuse

We're all consequences of our childhood experiences. Today, I will be writing to you from my psych ward. So, strap in (pun intended) as we begin the freak show.

Some victims of abuse (emotional and physical), especially at a young age, tend to identify with their abusers. They see their abusers as 'powerful' because they took away their power by imposing their will or restricting their options. As a survival strategy born from the need to never be vulnerable again, they assume the role of the abuser seeing as this is the optimal path to survival given their experience.

Since this is the only form of interaction they've experienced (strong prey on weak), they use this as a template for all interpersonal relationships and social interactions. They always seek to dominate all social interactions, they see inter-personal relationships as a balance of power (which it actually is), but they're literal about it. Establishing themselves as the 'dominant one' makes it harder for others to exploit or take advantage of them. (so they think.)

This pushes them to always be 'better' or 'stronger.' This is just a reaction to childhood trauma, playing on the loop in their heads. They do everything within their power to avoid returning to that state of helplessness, vulnerability, and weakness. Their whole adulthood is a response to a series of events in their childhood. Of course, they end up as efficient and functional adults, given their zeal for being better, but they're fucked in the head. They might be successful in their careers but dysfunctional in personal relationships.

And people would often say to them, "all those experiences made you stronger; if not for that, you wouldn't be who you are today..." and the traumatized inner child responds, "I was a child; I didn't need to be strong, I wanted to feel safe." "shut the fuck up; they're right." the coping adult responds. Now to ward B on the other spectrum of victims of abuse at an early age. These individuals tend to become detached and apathetic to social interactions and personal relationships. They're hypersensitive, paranoid, and hyper-vigilant. 

They see everyone as a potential abuser. They use their childhood experience as a template. These folks will do anything to avoid social situations; they see the worst in humans and are always expecting the worst from them. They tend to self-isolate and avoid any form of relationship that requires genuine care. They avoid situations that involve submitting to an authority above them (it brings up bad memories of being in a vulnerable and helpless state.) This means they avoid most corporate jobs since they have problems with authority.

They avoid physical confrontation and spend a lot of energy avoiding problems involving other humans because they often have problems dealing with them. This makes them experts at reading body language and hidden intentions. Although they're socially inept, they're actually remarkable at socializing when they realize they have no choice but to engage. Of course, this is for a limited time.

They're obsessed with control and hate uncertainties. This is because you can't control what you can't predict. Given their chaotic childhood, predicting what was going to happen next was a matter of life/death for them. They also tend to have rich imaginations since their mind was the only form of escape. Imaginary friends and Dissociative Identity Disorder are also a part of the mix.

I believe visiting hours are over. But before we leave this ward...Know that these individuals can become violent when pushed to the wall. Since their sanity is hanging by a thread, they end up becoming a threat to society when they finally break. We call them serial killers, murderers, possessed by the devil, evil.... Blah....Uhm... I think that's all. "Said the Narrator as the sterilized pool of liquid gave his butt hole a kiss. He was typing from the toilet seat."

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