The Sojourner Contd (chapter 4)

"What is Morning cry?" Dele asked. It's a kind of evangelism they do early in the morning, preaching the gospel using a bell and megaphone.

Bro Ajayi replied. Then he continued his story. I was shocked beyond expectation and couldn't even say a word, she greeted me, and I responded hastily; I was about to leave when Margaret asked me, "Bro Ajayi, "Is this where you live now?" No, I just came to collect my textbook from someone; I lied. I left hurriedly and was about to get home when I realized they knew I was lying since I wasn't holding any book.

"I had messed up," I thought; different thought crossed my mind. I was depressed when I got home; Maxwell opened the door for me; I narrated the whole drama to him, stressing the fact that I met my fellowship Evangelism coordinator as I was leaving Bola's house, coupled with the fact that that compound was popularly known as a female hostel since all it's occupant was all-female, "this is trouble looming" I said. "Well, in my own opinion, there's no problem, at least you could have gone there for so many reasons, and as a matter of fact, the person in question is your girlfriend," he concluded.

I wasn't satisfied nor comforted by Maxwell's response, but still, I prayed for forgiveness that morning and even fasted. I couldn't go to any mid-week service, executive meeting, or worker's prayer meeting that week for fear of seeing Sis Elizabeth; so many members and excos called me, but I lied to them that I wasn't feeling well. By the time I met her on Sunday, I had told her to wait for me after service because I wanted to see her.

Before I could start my explanatory conversation, Sister Elizabeth asked me if it concerned the fact that she saw me that day, and I replied in the affirmative. "I knew you went to spend the night at a lady's place," she continued. I was surprised but not shocked. I knew she must have suspected that since the explanation I gave for going there was baseless, but still, how did she know I spent the night there? Was she guessing I was about to deny her allegations when as if reading my thoughts, she said, "it was the Holy Spirit that told me to pass that route this morning for Evangelism?" I kept quiet at that; if it was the Holy Spirit, how could I deny it.

"Well, the truth is that I have been praying to God as to know His will for me in choosing a life partner, and you were number one on my list, I really admire your academic brilliance coupled with the fact that you are very bold when preaching, but the Holy Spirit had always kept nudging me that you weren't the right person or was it that something was off with you, I don't really know, but I know my mind isn't always at peace whenever I pray concerning you, then the Holy Spirit woke me that morning and told me to go out for evangelism passing that route, I purposely took Margaret since it was very early in the morning, then I saw you. Immediately I saw you; the Holy Spirit told me you were the reason He told me to go out. Bro Ajayi, she paused.

You are still battling with the spirit of fornication. You really need to flee from any iota of sin that can make you fall into it; the Holy Spirit wants to use you mightily. Still, the Devil wants to thwart that agenda using your greatest weakness, I would have loved to help, but being the opposite sex, I really can't do much; probably you can see the President, he should be able to help you" Sister Elizabeth concluded. "I thanked her, telling her I would work on it," I left her and went home.

I got home that afternoon ruminating on what she had said; I knew God had agenda of using me to preach the gospel; my Father had told me that the day I was 18 years birthday, he said a woman had told my mother when I was still little that I would grow up to be a Renowned Teacher of the Word, coupled with that, there was a day I had gone for a crusade a friend of my Father who was also a pastor organized and a Prophet prophesied that I would be a famous Preacher of the Word, but my success was dependent on my choice of a life partner, he further told my Father that my Wife would help the foundation of my ministry.

Or was Sister Elizabeth the woman God meant for me to marry? I had never taken the issue of a life partner serious, nor even prayed about it before; I felt when it was time for marriage, I would do that". My mind drifted back to what Sister Elizabeth had said to me, to see the fellowship President Bro Akin who was also in my department but was two years ahead of me, but that was not an option at all, "I was too ashamed to even discuss such with him not to talk of telling him I had a girlfriend whom I had carnal knowledge of, I would pray about it myself and flee from such act" I reassured myself.

But I forgot to remember that sin thrives the most when it is kept secret. I also forgot the words of Apostle Paul in 1Corithians 5:6 "A little leaven, leaveneth the whole lump." Things went on smoothly afterward, but something had changed in me; I was always having carnal urge whenever am in the presence of a lady; it was as if a part of me which was bounded before had been unleashed; I was perplexed; this feelings and reaction I was experiencing lately drives me crazy, it was just as if I wasn't in control of my mind any longer. My mind became a battleground at any chance I would find myself lost in the mire of fornicatory thoughts.

I was trying to hold my stand as a Christian, I knew those thoughts weren't right according to Biblical standards, but the lust of fornication building up in me was just too strong for my self-will to resist. I knew I was in spiritual danger and needed help to be revived, but I was too ashamed to tell any of my fellowship executives or colleague; I was a public figure, highly respected in my department and fellowship; even some of my colleagues called me 'Pastor Ajayi' sometimes, therefore revealing such obnoxious personal problem to any of them wasn't a viable option, and the only person whom I could confide in who was my roommate wasn't helping the matter.

I tried fasting and even reading the Word of God most time, but each time, the Holy Spirit would minister to me to leave Bola alone before I could be free, but I couldn't do that; I love Bola beyond measure; therefore, all I found in the scripture were condemnation to the unholy act going on in my mind and that drained off any strength that could be used in praying.

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