The Woes Of Domestic Violence

Domestic violence is a plague that deteriorates society and causes a lot of damage.

Domestic violence is a vice that has plagued society since the beginning of time. It is not gender-based. However, women are the predominant victims, especially in a patriarchal society.

Two of three women suffer from domestic violence, and seven of ten women who remain in toxic marriages are from religious roots. Domestic violence can be physical, but abuse can also be emotional, financial, and psychological. For every vice, there is a root cause. Society has a lot to do with domestic violence.

Right from birth, the boy and girl children are raised and conditioned differently. In Nigeria, for instance, the boys are seen as superior to their female counterparts and raised to see basic life skills like cooking and cleaning as gender roles.

These boys are raised to have fragile overinflated egos and a sense of self-grandiosity. On the other hand, the girl child is raised to be subservient to the boy child, to massage his ego, and taught that they are nothing without marriage.

This creates a very unbalanced dynamic. The boy child, now a man, sees himself as an infallible superior being whose needs must be catered to by the girl child since he ‘bought’ or did her a favor by marrying her.

The girl child, on the other hand, now a woman, tries to overcompensate by putting all the efforts into the marriage.

There is a lot of stigma surrounding divorce, especially for a divorced woman. Society scorns her for not being able to keep a man or her home. She is advised by the Church to ‘do better, watch war room, go on her knees and pray, instead of admonishing the man to do better.

Most women in abusive marriages, especially the religious ones, are afraid to speak up because of the fear of being looked down upon by the Church and Society. Many think it is better to endure a bad marriage than to get divorced because of the children.

However, the study has shown that children raised in toxic marriages are more psychologically damaged than their counterparts in divorced unions.

These children grow to think violence or abuse in marriage is normal. These children grow up to become women-beaters or get married to violent spouses, hence birthing a never-ending cycle.

Domestic violence could also lead to death, and it is a myth that money stops a woman from being abused in a relationship or marriage. Even breadwinners can get abused in marriage. Societal institutions like the family, the Church, and society have a lot to do to curb this vice.

Men should be raised to see women as their equals, partners to complement each other, not as inferior beings. They should be taught to respect women and never raise a finger at them. Women should be taught assertiveness and given resources to identify warning signs and to be able to leave abusive marriages or relationships. They should be taught independence and self-love.

The government should implement stricter laws, and severe punishment should be meted out to violent men who abuse their partners. The Church and society should not coddle men at the expense of women. They should desist from advocating inequalities in marriage. They should stop the stigma associated with leaving abusive marriages and provide comfort to Domestic Violence Victims.

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