Chiamaka Ajunwa 1 year ago
@theuntamedwrit... 4 min read Write a comment #short-stories

You're Eating In Capital Letters!!!

One girl...15 suitors in 2 years...All because of one sentence: "Your munching is making my ears bleed."

This is the fifth boyfriend Tanya has had this year. Why? Because every time she tried to go on a date with each one of her boyfriends, they would always end up separating by leaving in different transits afterward.For she had complained that they munched their food too loudly. Or breathed too loudly...Her brother's snoring was a different case on its own.

Once, she screamed at her third date during their three months relationship anniversary, Kevin, who normally ate pringles and popcorn whenever he was tensed or anxious at the Cinema. They had already discussed previously that he wouldn't be eating any Pringles whenever they went out to the Cinema.

He agreed, but along the way, he still bought a pack of pringles when they went to watch their favorite horror movie. After Tanya had annoyingly managed to listen to his endless munching, Kevin then resorted to eating popcorn. That was when a bomb ticked Tanya's head. Tanya kept gritting her teeth in disgust. When she finally had it, she grabbed her hard-covered lecture note and hit him strongly across the face. They were gasps of surprise and shock from everyone around.

It was an irrational action. She apologized, but he had nothing to do with her afterward and broke up with her that night. Going home that night to nurse bruised and swollen lips, he left. More and more suitors came and left the same way, each with a different kind of injury. Her brothers weren't surprised when she told them about the incident at the Cinema. "He's lucky you didn't break his teeth this time," Nonso, her younger brother, had said afterward, as her brothers busted out in laughter."Bitch say that again" she glared at him, pointing a fork at him.

When Tanya was little, she would always complain that her brothers were chewing loudly with their mouths open. (When it's obvious they closed their mouths)...Well, except Chidiebere, who sought to use his special iron tablespoon to torment her eardrums." Like seriously, that's the most stupid thing I've ever heard," one of them had fired at her over dinner. "And you, Leonard, you breathe too loudly," she exclaimed."Ugh..." They all groaned in frustration, leaving the table for her.

Once, her brothers tried to help her overcome her fear of loud munching. They tied her, in the living room, with her permission, and each took turns to chew any dry food substances of their choice close to her ears. But it never worked, like an angry lion; she always freed herself, as she would bite unto their ears. So for the past 20 years, Tanya had spent her eating days in her room. Even her brothers thought she was the craziest human being on earth. Her parents decided to take her to see a specialist. It was discovered that she had MISOPHONIA and was given a special kind of headphone to prevent noise to her ears. But for how long will she continue to live this way? Will she continue to chase more suitors away from herself?

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